[Munakaht]: Hanya Untuk Lelaki :)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..Assalamualaikumwarahmatullahi wabarakatuh..:)

* Sori sebab takde gambo untuk post ni..Sebab rase awkward lak..haha..:D

Berikut ialah sebahagian daripada nasihat Syeikh Abdullah bin Abdul Rahim al-Fathoni di dalam kitab Muhimmah. Kitab Muhimmah ini sarat dengan nasihat-nasihat kepada wanita-wanita dan juga lelaki sebagai persediaan sebelum menuju ke gerbang perkahwinan.

Jadi, untuk rakan-rakan yang hendak kahwin, mungkin boleh baca post ini sebentar. Ini bukanlah satu tulisan yang semata-mata untuk permainan dan gurauan..:)

Kata mushonnif rahimahullahu taala,

"Maka seyogianya engkau (wahai para lelaki) mengamat-mengamati dan engkau bersungguh-sungguh hai saudaraku dalam mencari sifat perempuan yang sunat dipilihnya yang wanita itu akan berkekalan taulan (kasih sayangnya) dan sampai boleh bersama-sama dengannya (bermesra) dengannya. Carilah ia dalam 7 perkara;

[PPertama]: Hendaklah engkau pilih perempuan yang sholehah yang takut akan Allah taala lagi yang kekal dalam ibadat lagi yang menjauhi faripada segala yang diharamkan oleh Allah. Telah bersabda Nabi Muhammad SAW,

" Berkahwinlah kamu akan perempuan itu atas beberapa perkara, kerana hartanya, kerana elok rupanya, kerana bangsanya, dan kerana agamanya. Lazimkan olehmu berkahwin dengan perempuan yang mempunyai agama"

Sabda Nabi lagi,

" Barangsiapa berkahwin berkehendak akan permpuan itu akan hartanya dan kerana elok rupanya nescaya diharamkan akan hartanya dan eloknya yakni ditegahkan akan hartanya dan elok rupanya dan barangsiapa berkahwin akan dia kerana agama perempuan itu nescaya diberi rezeki oleh Allah taala akan dia dan juga harta dan elok rupanya".

Dan dapat difahami daripada dua hadith ini bahawasanya seyogianya ersungguh-sungguh memilih akan perempuan yang mempunyai agama kerana berkahwin dengan wanita itu menolongi dalam berbuat ibadat dan lagi menolongi akan mendirikan agama.

[Kedua]: Sunat memilih akan perempuan yang baik perangainya kerana yang demikian itu menolongi akan menyekesakan (menyukakan) dalam berbuat ibadat kerana perempuan yang jahat perangai itu dan jahat lidahnya adalah mudarat bagi lelaki itu lebih banyak dari manfaatnya. Dan, para lelaki tidak akan mampu bersabar dari lidah wanita melainkan orang yang dianugerahkan Allah taal kesabaran seperti para ulama dan solihin.

Dan telah berkata ulama' Arab, "Jangan kau berkahwin dengan perempuan yang mempunyai 6 perkara;

1) al-Inanah, iaitu perempuan yang banyak keluh-kesah dan banyak mengadu akan keadaannya padahal dia sentiasa menghiasi dirinya melebihi keperluan. Berkahwin dengan perempuan sebegini hanya akan menyakitkan hati dan tidak ada di dalamnya kebaikan.

2) al-Mananah, iaitu perempuan yang banyak menngungkit-ungkit jasanya kepada suaminya

3) al-Hinanah, iaitu perempuan yang ingin bersuami yang lain dan anak-anak yang lain. Maknanya, dia sering berkhayal akan lelaki yang lain.

4) al-Hidafah, iaitu perempuan yang gemar akan tiap-tiap sesuatu maka ingin ia akan segala-galanya dan memberatkan suaminya untuk membeli kesmua itu.

5) al-Biroqah ada dua makna. Pertama, perempuan yang seharian menghiasi mukanya melebihi keperluan dan makna kesdua ialah perempuan yang banyak memarahi suaminya di atas makanan dan nafkah yang diberikan kepadanya.

6) al-Siloqah, iaitu perempuan yang banyak perkataannya melebihi keperluan.

Dan kata Saidina Ali, 3 sifat yang buruk ada pada diri seorang lelaki, tetapi baik bagi seorang perempuan memilikinya ialah;

1) al-Bukhul, iaitu kikir. Apabila seorang perempuan memiliki sifat kikir (yang tidak berlebih-lebih) maka dia akan bijak memelihara harta suaminya.

2) al-Zahwu iaitu besar diri. Apabila seorang wanita itu suka membesarkan dirinya (tidak melebi-lebih) maka enggan dia berkata-kata dengan semua orang dengan perkataan lemah lembut dan lenggok maka demikian tidaklah kita berasa cemburu dan marah kepadanya.

3) al-Jubn, iaitu penakut. Apabila seorang perempuan itu penakut (bukan penakut yang negatif) naja takutlah ia kepada tiap-tiap perkara tanpa suaminya maka tidaklah dia keluar dari rumah tanpa keperluan.

[Ketiga] Sunat memilih perempuan yang elok mukanya yaki baik rupanya kerana dengan dialah terpelihara akan daripada ingin kepada perempuan yang lain. Dan jangan pula berkahwin dengan perempuan yang baik rupanya tetapi tiada agamanya. Dan barangsiapa menngkehendaki denganberkahwin itu, sunat berniat untuk menghasilkan anak atau untuk mentadbir keluarganya.

[Keempat] Sunat memilih akan perempuan yang ringan mas kahwinnya keran sabda Nabi;

"Yang terlebih baik perempuan itu iaitu yang terlbih baik mukanya dan yang terlebih murah mas kahwinnya'

Sabda Nabi lagi;

"Sesetengah daripada keberkata seseorang perempuan itu segera dia bersuami dan segera rahinnya memperanakkan dan murah pula emas kahwinnya"

[Kelima] Sunat memilih perempuan yang banyak beranak kerana sabda Nabi,

"Lazimkan atas kamu berkahwin dengan perempuan yang banyak beranak dan banyak pula kasih sayangnya kepada suaminya"

[Keenam] Sunat memilih perempuan yang dara kerana sabda Nabi kpeda Jabir radhiallahu anhu yang hendak mengahwini seorang janda,

"Mengapa tidak engkau berkahwin akan perempuan yang dara sehingga dia bermain-main dengan kau dan engkau bermain-main dengan dia" (bermesra dehh)

 [Ketujuh] Sunat memilih akan perempuan yang mempunyai bangsa yang baik iaitu perempuan itu daripada cucu orang yang mempunyai agama dan anak cucu yang soleh dan alim.


Maka, inilah 7 sifat yang sunat memilih wanita dengan sifat-sifat ini. Tidak semestinya memerlukan ketujuh-tujuh sifatnya, jikalau ada yangkurang, tugas kitalah sebagai suami untuk menggilapnya. :)

p.s: Rindu nak ngaji kitab ini setiap Khamis lepas Asar bersama TG Abdul Halim..:D Sekian wassalam..:D

[Chronicle]: End of A Mamluk

**A Fable About Salvation and Hope**

 

-A fable is a non-truth story which are designed and plotted to deliver the writer's thoughts and feelings. It is reminded that this story does not associated whether with the living nor the dear

In the dark, I lurked. Even under the light of a scorching day, I can feel that my face was painted black. With sin. Whenever I saw my reflections in the mirror, my face somehow disfigured. My sins were countless, as many as the stars in the sky and the sands in the desert. Yet, somehow people has a respectable view of me. I started to think myself as hypocrite, as I was praised and rewarded handsomely but in reality, I am not even close of what they had described you.

Every day, the sun spit blazing saffron in my face like it was trying to vaporized me so my hypocrisy will be ended, and after that maybe God will be appeased with man. Every dawn, I woke up with a choked feeling, troubled and trembling of yesterdays sins. How I became too addicted of it, unable to break apart from its bind, and the sins is killing me slowly. Like an anaconda wrapping its sleek reptilian body to a helpless goat. A black goat, I am. I was devastated of the lessening feel of guilt as I committed the sin and started to wonder if God started to leave me. Alone. Forsaken.

Sun was scorching me high above, and the Earth was tripping me with its rocks and boulders. Its seem like every single cell in me despised me and decayed, shrinking me to an abomination. No food relieve my famish, no drink quench my thirst and no games can sate my needs.

And then, a single ray of hope enlightened my eternal darkness abyss in my heart.

I have a personal mentor, my religious teacher or commonly known as Ustazah in our community. She seemed to know everything about me, my miserable life and the dark side of me. I succumbed to her piercing yet gentle eyes and told her the truth. I thought she would pretend I did not exist after discovering the truth but no. She said, everyone has hope and salvation. Proof? Allah still give you another day after the yesterday stained full with sins. I f He hates you or abandon you, He would take your life immediately. Try to think that every breath is a chance of salvation from him.

True. But not for me.

One day, she invited me to her house. Her charming husband welcomed me warmly into their house. In that special space, I learned the serenity of peace with family which I did not have an exact definition of it. I studied quantum physics, metaphysics and other mind-boggling science to find a true meaning of  life but I found nil. At her house, I find the meaning of life in a baby girl.

How ironic is life. I studied hundreds of books  but a mere child gave me this lifetime lesson.

Surprisingly, my mentor and her husband offered me to tahnik their newborn baby. According to Islamic traditions, a newborn baby is encouraged to let their mouth smeared with sweet items such as the tamar or dried raisins or even the sacred water of Zamzam. This ritual usually done by a pious man or a prominent community symbol. And, I was not included in both categories yet the happy couple offered me to do so.

I cradled the baby in my arms and saw her eyes shone. For the first time, a living creature looked at me with pure and innocent eyes, differ from the rest of the world who see me as a parasite. My dark heart immediately streamed with warm feelings alien to me. What was this feelings? The baby's eyes flickered with hope like a mini star,  full of anticipation towards her holder. Tears might rolled down my cheeks if the ustazah did not arrived with a plate of Zamzam water.

"We ran out of dried raisins. Zamzam water should be suffice", her husband said gently.

"Go on. May your touch will make our daughter as great as you," the Ustazah said with a smile. That's not true. I might aced in my exams but I am a sinner. You were making a grave mistake. This baby might be cursed with my forsaken touch, but it was too late. Her husband took my hand, dipped my index finger into the cold Zamzam water and insert the finger into her daughter's mouth. Three times the sacred water dripped into her throat. And the baby smiled.

Spontaneously, I ran my right hand to her head and prayed silently. Ya Allah, make this baby a better person than me. Please, I beg you. Don't let my accursed hand infecter her pure feelings and she ended up a scum like me! I beg you!

Journey back home seemed like the longest in my life. i recalled the baby's parents smiles of approval and their endless streams of appreciation to me. Deep in my hear, it felt like someone dropped a heavy anvil inside my thoracic cavity, filling it with burden and responsibilities. I have to change. I must not let my viruses cursed her life. My life is gone and her life was full of hope.

20 years later.

I was walking in a bustling sideroad of a city. Our soceite has disintegrate to a concoction of shameless and sick people, making the dark alleys crammed with criminals and prostitutes. Alcoholic drinks and prostitution has been legalized as an effect of legalized gambling by our leaders since the dawn of the country. No one is safe here. Not even in the house. Televisions in electronic stores showed brutal cases from mass man-slaughter to random shooting by madman in a street full of civilians.

What the Prophet has prophecied 1400 years ago, that there will be a time when a young man kneeled by a grave saying "You are very lucky for not living in this living hell". The time has arrived.

At the sideroda, I recognized a familiar silhoutte of a women. She was wearing a tight scarlet clothing that made men stopped to admire the curves. My heart raced. I braved myself, and shouted, "Who are you? Do I know you?". The women turned back, with heavy plumes of smoke puffing from her mouth," Don't recognized me? I was the child you cursed. If it not because of you sins infected to me, I would never end up like this. But it is too late now, right? Besides, this life seemed to suit me as it suit yours". Then, she barked with laughter. I fell to my knees, hand on my ears. her banshee-like clanged in my head and the world was black.

The world materialized back and loud beeping of machines again clanged in my mind. The sickening sterile odor pierced my nose and my body were full of wires, makin me like a real-life cyborg. I was drenched in sweat. Thunders of footsteps echoed in the hospital corridor and a team of doctors and nurses entered my room. They checked my stats in the machines and tried to calm me.

I wailed loudly, "It was my fault!!God, spare her!! Let me go to hell but please spare her. I gave you my life and my soul...Pleeeaseee"My saliva oozed down to my bare chest but I did not care. I want to rip off these wires binding and choking me alive, runaway form this sick place and find the child. I must find the lovely couple and said sorry as I ruined her child with my cursed touch. The doctors responded by injecting me with a high dosed tranquilizer. The world was black again and I was bored of it.

Everything was misty. I barely heard the doctors said something like " He...don't have a chance..We..cannot..anything" Then the voice ended.

I opened my eyes, and was shocked as I am not in the deathbed anymore. I was in a white plain, some vista that resembled Jack Sparrow's exile in the Davy Jones Locker. There was nothing except white sands.

"Do you know where are we?," a familiar voice spoke. I turned back and the man was wearing a white robe. I did not know him but is face strangely familiar to me.

"We are in between the-worlds. This is the place you say the final goodbye before you going to Illiyin or Sijjin"

What is Illiyin and Sijjin.
  
"Busy with science book instead of the Quran. eh? Illiyin and Sijjin is something like list, good people write their name in Illiyin and the bad ones, in the fires of Sijjin".

So, where do I belong? Funny. I think I can guess the answer.

"Long story, lad. I also don't know this will end like this. Take a seat". And, a white chaired materialized behind me. I sat on the chair with eyes rivetted to the man.

"18 years ago, you received a phone call. From the couple. With their exasperated call saying that their daughter are somehow different from others. Which I don't think it is necessary to elaborate on that. You, a coward as you are. Fled from your homeland and settle somewhere else. Thinking you can hide from them. From me. From Him."

Cold sweat dripped from my forehead.

"But, somehow you changed. People usually prayed for money, power, heaven but your are unique. You asked for a bargain. I believe no other people prayed like that for some 500 years, after the ast of the Sufistics great teachers has died. You asked Allah to spare her. You pray more. You give more. Days and nights. Quite incredible for a sinner".

Gulp.

"But, you get this wrong. Actually, in Islam there is no curse. No suwey, bad luck or anything else created by humans. There is only you and God. If you do God, He will reward you handsomely, regardless of age, background or sins. Remember Fudhail bin Iyadh? That man was a thief boss, nasty one but one day he begged Allah for forgiveness and we erased all of his faults. Like a newborn baby".

So?

"So, the girl actually grew up fine. Your prayers for her are granted by Allah. Pure and unconditional. A true love it is. Such beauty in these dark days. You have never know about love but you have performed a great act of love. When you was diagnosed with cancer, I knew that I will come to you in your last days with my eerie costumes and nasty weapons and dragged you to pits of Sijjin". His eyes flickered.

At least she is safe.

"Yupp, full pardon for you, sir. A sinner you might be, but your spent your last days with hope to Allah that He will spare her and forgive you too. Like the Quran said, Ask and you shall be granted. Come on now, we have lots to do. Immigrations in Illiyin quite busy now as the hundreds of martyrs in Syria and Egypt arrived there daily."

I succumbed to her piercing yet gentle eyes and told her the truth. I thought she would pretend I did not exist after discovering the truth but no. She said, everyone has hope and salvation. Proof? Allah still give you another day after the yesterday stained full with sins. I f He hates you or abandon you, He would take your life immediately. Try to think that every breath is a chance of salvation from him.
   
Thank you Allah, and I will watch the girl from above.