On Life

Young Parents- Francois Antoine de Bruycker

It has been a while I juggled my mind to produce such heavy system. This peace must be conceived as according to the Qayserium thoughts framework, and consistent with my other thoughts. It is largely still in an unstately and unfurnished state, but for the sake of moving forward, I have to write and prepare something.

This essay focuses on the "Yes" to life, follows Schopenhauer, that is to leave another generation. Read away...

I wish to demonstrate a few things in this essay: first, that man possesses real impulse or force towards life and death. Secondly, that life is a question that must be answered by us taking responsibility to shape life according to the impulse above mentioned. Thirdly, just like the ultimate answer to life in the negative means suicide, that is extinguishing yourself without leaving any remains (except dark remains), the ultimate answer to life in the positive way is to persevere in this world and despite all of its perennial shortcomings and curses, we leave marks in this world. There are many marks that can be left, but the greatest of all of them is children.

Next, a disclaimer. This is not a mere statement of Lilliputian optimism, nor you can found here a Nietzschean sighes for life poorly spent. man is essentially a paradoxical human being; he is thrown into the world he has to decide himself for everything without his own decision etc...and so, it is only logical that even in the saintliest of the saints, or even in us the fated backdrop characters of all that is shining far brighter than us would have ambivalent feelings in life all the time, or most of the time. Each of us can recall where the contradiction (or the lay people would call, hypocrisy) of the world slapped us hard in the face, throwing us into the familiar humid marshes of despair. And so, here's the disclaimer: we are not to prescribe an antidote for all the faults of the world, we would not judge you for your weakness. In fact, we would like you to embrace the beautiful scars all along the way and learn from the random scratches the meaning of life. Aren't the essence of chaos theory is that random system seems chaotic because of insufficient data to analyze it? So do our life. It is a system created by us, lived by us and it is up to us to carve meaning into it. Humans are feelers: thoughts are sweats from apprehending those feelings...the feeling of despair, suicidality and its opposite: creativity and resounding "Yes" to life is just opposite sides of the coin. When you get the bad ones doesn't mean everything has ended; you just have to flip it one time more. I observed suicide is caused by refusing to flip the coin once again rather than the system itself has defeated us. The system itself is a cheat, it provided too much leeway that a man can create himself over and over again from the virtue that his essence, his "I" and his soul is yet to be formed, an essentially undiscoverable entity. 

Moving on to that life is a state that's stretched infinitely to two ways. One can argue life is a state that's stretched infinitely to three ways, i.e. beyond time but let us keep in mind the rare anger of Buddha once for a while in this matter. Sartre might argue, as he had already in his Transcendence of Ego, that the feeling of hatred or disgust is an impure reflection, because it stretched infinitely while it has not the right to compute so. But i wanted to add, how if a person rather than reflecting infinitely, he commits into the world, invaginates into it infinitely? Would it be as absurd as infinite reflection? I say no. Because there are actions that leave it marks forever, and was done with the very intention so. In the negative sense, when one commits suicide, while his disappearance is a one time event, him disappearing is an infinite one. Not because it infinitely impacts the people around him. (I remember how when a batchmate of ours jumped and shattered her head, two weeks down, even the witnesses can laugh it off and made jokes about it. (we are not as significant as we like to think)). What i mean  by the disappearance of the suicide is committed infinitely is that his disappearing is eternal and infinite, stretched beyond the certain present window of time. Phenomenologists tried very hard to disapprove whatever that is convinced to happen beyond the immediate state of reflection, but as typical of starry-eyed philosophers, they failed to see the glaring examples right before their eyes! The disappearing of a suicide person is one example that an action can be committed infinitely. one might recall Nietzsche's dictum about eternal recurrence. Why it is recurrence rather than reincarnation? Reincarnation implies an absolute leaving of a state to another and then return to it back, but in recurrence no such leaving occurs! One simply recur his action eternally. 

And so we have proved that infinite states beyond what senses can give actually exists, now we want to prove that the infinite stretched two ways i.e. it stretched holistically. Time moves unidirectionally they said, yes of course because time is a single moment of action in life. I define life or the world as the complete field of every actions possible. And what i mean by actions is both physical and mental actions. Physical actions is what limited by what the body appendages can do, while mental actions are ruminations of the products of bodily movements. Just like how a mere bodily movement can branch off to transmitting force to other objects (hitting a ball) or start off an automatic system (building and then turning on the engine), so does the mental ruminations exists in many form. If it concerns directly to bodily movements is called memory and retrospective in nature. What concerns to potential of bodily movements is sublimation, prospective in nature. We cannot escape from these definitions nor there are anymore other than them, except in few selected cases and exceptions are not profitable in the discussion regarding the masses. 

So time of course moves in its preordained way, forward because it merely a single moment or event in the world. It would contradicts the law of the world if time could move backwards, because that is memory. And memory is a purely mental action. Time traveling if it should exist should only happen in a teleportation in an alternate world with the same backdrops yet with attention to different things, so two overlapping memories (one that has been went through, and the other which is going through) would then united to become a merely single, unified memory.

Thus, us throwing the ball forward is one event of the world, but looked holistically it is an event that can be depicted as throwing the ball holistically (in all directions). So does the world, or the tradeoff between potential and actual. what we faced with realizing it is the plane that is realized in actual, but what that more and more repressed (invested in more potentiality rather than actuality) is also exists. Man can then, or must, exist in two infinitely stretched plane; plane in actuality and plane in potentiality. We must not confuse life and death and equate for an instance, life as the potential plane, because we have seen so many people which his eventual path to suicide is the plane that is being actualized rather than the life direction. the planes are neutral, but its specific manifestation is not. A man is free to act in favor of life or death to be its plane of direction. The many examples of a life going through the path of death or live is numerous and aptly depicted in so many instances, so i would exclude from including it here.

But what I would like to emphasis is while the plane is infinite but there is finite distance the world or life can be stretched before it snapped and rebounded onto itself. Thus the very moment of suicide is when the self snapped and rebounded onto itself, life flashed in his mind and only after that out-of-the-world experience one really decided to kill himself or not. Moments prior to that is merely ruminations of memory and sublimation. And so, if the actualizing plane of direction is in the path of life what would a person find? He would not find himself in successful times or in other grand instances, but in the moment of intercourse aimed to produce another life. Because in that act of sensual, there is a background angst happening where one really rummaged his mental repository to seek an answer to a question: is this life truly worth it that i must leave another person to live through it? This angst is a question that even great philosophers shy away from it, it explains why most of the time, the moment of conception occurs out from this reflective frame, because man would shook in terror. He would be frozen in terror even though in his high moments of euphoria, knocking on the doors of that heavenly cornucopia, where something completely new is formed somewhat ex nihilo (a person producing another person). I would then answer in unison with Schopenhauer, that the greatest answer, a resounding "Yes" to life is to produce (or wanted to, if we can't) another life. An eternal recurrence.